- If you or anyone you know is struggling and needs support, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. In an emergency, call 000
Abbie Chatfield broke down in tears as she detailed her struggles with suicidal thoughts as a result of trolling, and the trauma of domestic violence in a past relationship.
The Bachelor star, 29, candidly spoke about her struggles with her mental health during a wide-ranging discussion on her podcast, It’s A Lot.
She addressed an incident at the Australian Open, where a man approached her while she was working and filmed her, prompting Abbie to accuse him of ‘harassment’.
After the clip was shared online, Abbie tearfully addressed the incident and resulting backlash, including that of former AFL player Jed Lamb, who had commented on the video that she ‘sucked’.
Abbie was overwhelmed with emotion as she revealed the Australian Open incident came at a time when she was already struggling psychologically with online trolling.
‘The day before he uploaded that, I was with my therapist speaking about my suicidal ideations to do with all this trolling, to do with feeling like I’m always surveilled, to do with feeling like no matter what I do I’m going to get trolled,’ she shared.
‘Even when I’m not saying or doing anything ”controversial”, I still get attacked and abused and trolled, and I’m just f**king over it. I’m really f**king exhausted.’
‘At the moment, my suicidal thoughts are rampant. My resting thought is ”f**k, I’d love to take a pill and just go to sleep and not wake up, that would be so nice”,’ she went on.
‘When I’m anxious, I think about ending my own life because of this trolling and because of all the things I’ve listed.
‘It’s been a slow burn and I’m just at a point where I’m like ”I can’t do this anymore, I can’t deal with this anymore, I’m really tired”.’
The podcaster also detailed how she has been left traumatised and suffering with PTSD because of a past domestic violence relationship.
She explained how people expect her to be happy because she has found love with musician Adam Hyde, however Abbie is still affected by her past.
‘There’s this idea that now that with Adam and in a happy and safe relationship, everything is fine and all my PTSD is reversed and everything is happy, happy and I’m able to move on from that abusive relationship,’ she shared.
‘It’s getting better but it’s not just ”you’ve got a happy boyfriend now, so everything’s fine”.
‘Any issues that me and Adam have end up getting tainted by – I’m not overreacting or being crazy but my anxieties – I get very scared about certain things and overapologise.’
Abbie said she tried EMDR therapy – which helps people process traumatic memories and is used to treat PTSD – but it opened her mind up to more ‘flashbacks’ and made things worse for her.
Abbie shared a segment of the emotional podcast episode to Instagram, with an honest caption .
‘This was a very hard episode to record. I’ve been hiding the severity of my struggle with for the last year, but lately things have come to a head, fuelled by trolling,’ she penned.
Addressing the Australian Open incident, she went on: ‘The day before that video was uploaded by that pig, I was in therapy trying to work through the harassment and my thoughts of unaliving myself.
‘I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never be able to go a day without reading something negative about myself, which is heartbreaking.
‘I feel trapped in this, but I don’t want to stop speaking about politics and I don’t want to hide away for the sake of insecure ignorant losers.
‘Listen to the full episode to hear more about how I got here. I hope some of you can at least feel comfort in relating to how I’m feeling. If you’re struggling, reach out to Lifeline on 13 11 14.’
Her heartbreaking podcast admission comes after Abbie was approached by a man and filmed at the Australian Open in what she described as ‘harassment’.
Abbie was working outside the Canadian Club tent when a man walked up to her and filmed her while she was doing high kicks, before asking her who she was.
‘I’m the high kick champion of the Australian Open,’ she responded to which he hit back with: ‘You wish you are the high kick champion.’
The footage was then shared online, with a tearful Abbie then explaining that the man had been filming her to try and get ‘internet clout’ because he ‘hated’ her.
‘I was just being silly and I was doing high kicks in front of the camera with the crew because it was raining and it was a hard day at work,’ she began.
‘We were all laughing and this man comes up to us and says something to me… It turns out he was trying to film me to get internet clout because he hates me so much.
‘I’m sorry you’re jealous that I got paid to go to the Australian Open and you had to pay to get in but I was just a woman existing and men are so emboldened now,’ she continued while in tears.
‘All I do is speak about politics, women’s rights and advocate for domestic violence victims to then be abused further by men,’ Abbie continued before crying hysterically.
‘I’m so exhausted and to be at work and have that happen from some ugly loser. The comments are horrific but at least I live in my brain and have a beautiful life.’
Abbie also hit out at AFL player Jed Lamb for commenting a cruel remark about her when the footage was shared online.
‘Love this. She sucks,’ Jed had commented on the post.
Abbie took a screenshot of his comment and shared it with her fans alongside a private message he sent her in 2021 asking if she would attend his girlfriend’s birthday celebrations.
‘When did you go down the alright pipeline because your message from 2021 shows your girlfriend loves me?’ she wrote.
‘Men are being radicalised. Look at how he spoke to me only 3 years ago.’
Abbie then contacted Jed privately asking ‘why don’t like me?’ before sharing the conversation with her followers.
‘Was a bit of tongue in cheek. Lesson learnt. Apologies,’ Jed responded.
Abbie shared his response and captioned the conversation: ”Weak little boys!!!!’
