Bethany Joy Lenz said she was put on a ‘sex schedule’ when she was married to the son of a ‘cult’ leader.
The actress, 43, opened up about being married to a man, whom she referred to as QB, while she was in the ‘Big House Family,’ which she called a ‘high-control group.’
On Wednesday’s episode of Call Her Daddy, Lenz explained that she felt like she ‘married the wrong person’ during that time when she got involved with a ‘cult’ for 10 years in the early 2000s.
And due to the intimacy issues in their marriage, she and QB were ‘asked’ to develop a ‘sex schedule.’
The One Tree Hill alum — who also addressed the ‘feud’ between her and her former co-star, Hilarie Burton Morgan, on the podcast — said her relationship with QB was ‘playful and easy’ at first.
However, over time, she realized that they ‘didn’t have a lot in common.’
‘There wasn’t a lot of intellectual stimulation,’ she admitted. ‘But I had kinda run out of options. Like, I couldn’t date a non-Christian, and I couldn’t really date anybody outside of the group.’
In the end, she said her marriage with QB turned into ‘this sort of arranged situation.’
Despite having a ‘crazy sex drive,’ she recalled saving herself for marriage after she was ‘promised’ that it would be better; however, she said it was ‘a big crock.’
‘I thought if I save myself for marriage, then the promise is amazing sex and super deep intimacy, and nothing’s ever as good and it’s just, like, the best thing ever,’ she said.
‘Then we have sex, and it’s like, ‘Why do I feel so sad? I don’t feel more connected to you. I feel farther away from you.”
Lenz recalled: ‘Because I was so disinterested in sex, I was then asked to go on a schedule.
‘Basically [they were] like, ‘You just have to do it. Just do it. This is your duty. This is your job as a wife. Your emotions will fall in line. If you do it enough, then eventually, you will find a way to enjoy it.”
She said she tried her best to ‘make it work’ even though she ‘hated it’ because there was ‘so much at stake.’
‘It was a routine that I had to participate in in order to keep the peace in my marriage,’ she added.
She said that while she was filming One Tree Hill in Wilmington, her now-ex would constantly travel to the Pacific Northwest and would expect sex whenever he came back.
‘My stomach dropped every single time,’ she admitted. ‘In fact, it really affected my relationships afterwards [with] other boyfriends when I had to go pick them up from the airport.’
Lenz added: ‘I had so much PTSD from showing up at the airport to see him knowing that I was gonna have to start this sex schedule for the next, like two weeks or three weeks or whatever.’
And even though their marriage eventually ended, she said she still empathizes with her ex.
‘The poor guy never had a shot,’ she said. ‘He was raised by this narcissist. He was thrust into a marriage that’s not right for him. He’s doing the best that he can, and he has been fed all these lies about men and machismo, like, he was raised in that.’
Lenz did not reveal the identity of QB but she was previously married to Michael Galleotti from 2005 to 2012.
The former couple are parents to daughter Maria Rose Galeotti, 13.
Her upcoming memoir, Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show (While Also in an Actual Cult!), will hit the shelves on October 22.
