- Chelsea led 6-0 by half time as the contest proved to be embarrassing mismatch
- The Blues’ opponents are just seven years old and were miles off the pace in tie
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Any ideas that Noah had to park the ark at Stamford Bridge were ill-conceived in a European contest so embarrassingly mismatched that you were left wondering if Chelsea made sure their goals came two by two just for the fun of it.
Enzo Maresca‘s men scored in the 12th and 13th minutes, then the 18th and 21st, and then the 39th and 41st to lead 6-0 by the break. Christopher Nkunku grabbed their seventh and eighth goals in the second half but resisted performing his usual balloon celebration, realising how harsh that would have been.
The visitors sitting fourth in the Armenian Premier League were tourists at Stamford Bridge. An hour before kick-off, their players were on the pitch, suited up and taking selfies because this was a big occasion, for themselves and for Noah.
Only seven years old, the club is indeed named after the biblical tale. They got into the Conference League proper via an exhaustive qualifying process which began all the way back on July 11.
That set them up for this visit to the home of the favourites of the competition. Maresca continued his trend in making 11 changes, knowing that a routine win ought to follow regardless.
The record books showed that Chelsea’s best-ever win in Europe was 13-0 when they beat Jeunesse Hautcharage in the 1971-72 Cup Winner’s Cup. Truthfully, it depended how much misery they wished to pile on the visitors whose supporters, to their credit, sang their songs throughout.
Cole Palmer was here, too, sitting in front of the press box as we all wait to see if he will be passed fit to face Arsenal in the Premier League this Sunday.
He was not named in the Conference League squad that Chelsea submitted to UEFA earlier in the season. The club’s feeling was he would not be needed in the league phase. Though they faced some criticism for that call, they were right. If Palmer was playing here, who knows how many more Chelsea might have scored.
Felix came close to making it seven in the second half with a toe-poke after Chancharevich gifted the ball straight to him while trying to pass out from the back, but Noah’s goalkeeper redeemed himself with the save. Chancharevich was needed again when Nkunku tried to swivel and shoot, before he stopped Felix from burying the rebound. Nkunku then crashed the ball into the crossbar after being played in behind by Renato Veiga.
Though he had not scored, George was impressing on the right wing, with Chelsea’s supporters showing their appreciation as he was removed after 68 minutes.
In the 69th minute, it was seventh heaven when Felix’s through-ball found Nkunku. Chancharevich stopped the initial attempt at a chip but not the rebound, which trickled in even with Aleksandar Miljkovic having retreated to the goal line. There was no balloon celebration.
In the 75th minute, it was 8-0, with Austrian referee Christian-Petru Chlochirca awarding Chelsea a penalty via his pitch side monitor after Dewsbury-Hall was fouled by Yan Eteki. Nkunku sent it straight down the middle. Again, no balloon came out of the sock. He saves that for real contests.
