Tuesday, November 26, 2024
Red State

Fractured Media Nominations: Trump Art Fraud, an Ursine Insurance Scam, and Celebrity Urination Habits

Red State
By Red State
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From our Fractured Media files, it is time for a new round of nominations for nefarious news nonsense! In recognizing the efforts of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created The Golden Remington Awards. 

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This trophy honors the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. To commemorate that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today or misreport in an audacious fashion.

In this edition, there are a variety of subjects that deserve unmerited recognition from various outlets, so let’s get into the mayhem. These are the inauspicious nominations in several categories, hoping to be (dis)honored at the end of the year for the 2024 Remmy Awards.

Distinguished Breaking News Reporting

While we get the excitement and pride at an outlet for being the first to break a story, maybe the quality and content of said story should regulate the level of boasting made for the big reveal you are crowing about. Sharon Waxman is the founder of The Wrap, the Hollywood trade paper, and she was clearly impressed by the work at her outlet regarding the behind-the-scenes issues with the holiday film “The Red.”

Waxman came out to brag when Dwayne Johnson appeared on a podcast to promote the film, and during the talk he confirmed some details that Gonzales had revealed back in April. Namely, that The Rock had a predisposition to urinate in water bottles while on set.

I think I speak for all our audience that we, as Americans, deserve to know what our celebrities are micturating into.

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Distinguished Investigative Journalism

After the election, a photo was posted of Donald Trump on a plane with Elon Musk, Robert Kennedy Jr., Speaker Mike Johnson, and his son Don Jr., all huddled around an in-flight table filled with McDonald’s food fare. One gag account on Xitter posted a side-by-side image with what was claimed to be a near-identical centuries old painting by a Dutch master.

The comedy was apparent to roughly 99.3691 percent of Xitter users. However, at Newsweek, the intrepid Mr. Nicholls performed a forensic study on the work of art involving reverse-image searches as well as poring over the history of the painter. It was over 14 hours after posting that the piece was updated to acknowledge the name of the “artist” was a variation of the “Deez Nutz” meme. 

Newsweek Gets Mocked Into Next Week for ‘Fact-Checking’ Supposed 18th-Century Painting of Trump

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

  • Ruth Ben-Ghiat – MSNBC

The fabled historian was on the dissolving cable news network to join in on the chorus of voices declaring that Trump’s nominee for Secretary of Defense, Pete Hegseth, was invalid for the position. Her rationale is rather…we’ll say, “forced.”

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One reason she cites is that he is a violent far-right extremist. This is based on the revelation that Hegseth once promoted a violent wartime item – soap, in the shape of a hand grenade. (It is, for accuracy’s sake, soap shaped like a claymore mine — BUT STILL VIOLENT AND EXTREME!)

Just wait until Ruth learns about bath bombs! 

Distinguished Editorial Writing

The press continues to flail about as they grapple with the effects of the election, as well as facing the reality that their grip on the public is continuing to wane at an alarming rate. Ms. Jong-Fast attempts to rationalize what happened and formulate a plan going forward for the media to follow in order to repair things in the Age of Trump.

Her solution? The press needs to do things differently, and her suggestion is to focus on the threat Trump poses to our democracy. Which is…the very thing they have been doing, leading to his victory. Adding to her confounding “solution,” she offers this guidance, which suggests they should not sound so alarming, as they insist he…um, he is…killing the country. 

We in the media need to keep our powder dry for those eventualities, staying clear-eyed without sounding the alarms 24/7. Trump will do outrageous things. But in entering likely one of the most perilous moments for our democracy, we must focus on the assault on essential norms and institutions, because without them, we are lost.

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Distinguished Investigative Reporting

In another Trump cabinet hit job, RFK Jr. came in the crosshairs at The Times, and this was concerning his position on — Froot Loops. Kennedy had previously stated that the American version of the cereal had more chemicals than the Canadian version, and the times was here to set the record straight. By proving him, correct?

  • But he was wrong. The ingredient list is roughly the same, although Canada’s has natural colorings made from blueberries and carrots while the U.S. product contains red dye 40, yellow 5 and blue 1 as well as Butylated hydroxytoluene, or BHT, a lab-made chemical that is used ‘for freshness,’ according to the ingredient label.

After having it explained to them that they just confirmed his point, the editors went on to “fix” things with a Correction that explains that Kennedy was in error on the total amount. “He was wrong on the ingredient count, they are roughly the same.” This, of course, bypasses what his intent was in his interview, which is that our cereal has more processed items included – you know, the topic in the headline – and the piece still lists out those chemical ingredients, proving him correct.

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Distinguished Political Cartoons

  • Mike DeAdder

You get the real sense that the famed cartoonist was rather confident in the result of the general election with this image. He was, instead, rather off the mark.

Distinguished Local Reporting

Insurance claims were submitted for the damages incurred by two Mercedes Benz vehicles as well as a Rolls Royce, when a bear attacked the automobiles. However, insurance investigators had questions and looked into the matter, involving $140,000 in claims.

The California Department of Insurance launched “Operation Bear Claw” and in the process obtained video footage that was provided. A biologist from the California Department of Wildlife joined the investigation to analyze the curious case of a brown bear, which has not been spotted in that particular area in nearly a century.

Four arrests were made for insurance fraud after it had been determined that what had transpired was a person in a bear suit, wielding meat claws, had perpetrated the damage. (And these clever wizards recorded this activity?!)

The Quaker Oats Rice Cakes Non-Story Certificate

  • Aimee Picchi – CBS News

Maybe there was a story quota to fill with a truncated month, due to the Thanksgiving days off? At CBS Money Watch, Picchi wanted to cover prospects for the upcoming Trump administration, but rather than analyze his announced agenda, she resorted to looking into what randos were saying on social media.

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Aimee saw some users on TikTok and Xitter who were speculating about Trump issuing a new round of stimulus checks when he takes office. This is not based on any proposal; it ignores that Congress is in charge of such payouts, bypasses the previous checks being a COVID response, and the entire premise is debunked right there in the post for the article:

This post was originally published on this site

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