A woman who married a wealthy man more than 20 years her senior when she was just 19 has opened up about the unexpected toll of their union, calling it a decision she ‘deeply regrets’ despite their two-decade marriage and four children.
Now 39, the mum says she tied the knot with her 40-year-old husband in what she admits was an arrangement based on looks and money.
‘The only reason he married me was because I was hot,’ she confessed on Reddit. ‘And the only reason I married him was because he had money.’
Speaking candidly about her experience, she described how her turbulent childhood left her vulnerable to the allure of someone who appeared to have all the answers.
Adopted by parents she says ‘shouldn’t have been allowed to care for a houseplant’, she grew up feeling like she had to navigate life on her own.
When she met her future husband at 17, his confidence and wealth seemed like a way out.
But looking back, she says, ‘If I could go back and slap myself, I would.’
The couple has built a life together, raising four children and finding common ground over the years, but the cracks in their relationship run deep.
‘What no one tells you – or they try and you don’t listen because you’re a dumb teenager – is that marrying for money means you owe them. Every single day. Not just in the bedroom but in every aspect of your life,’ she explained.
While her husband never explicitly demanded repayment, the power imbalance has manifested in subtler ways.
‘He pulls rank at the most random times, and it feels like the floor is falling out from under you,’ she said.
Her husband’s financial control has shaped every decision in their marriage.
When she wanted to return to school or take a part-time job after their children were older, he refused to pay for tuition or childcare, asking her to pay for a babysitter out of her new pay check.
‘The childcare would have cost more than I would’ve earned, so there was no point,’ she explained.
Even small acts became impossible without his permission.
When she dyed her hair a colour he didn’t like, he retaliated by withholding money for the children’s school clothes until she changed it back.
‘It sounds silly, but these psychological battles happen all the time,’ she said.
Despite the challenges, she doesn’t hate her life and acknowledges that she and her husband love each other.
However, the mum hopes her story serves as a warning to others, especially young women in difficult situations.
‘I see my oldest daughter, who is now 17, and I can’t imagine her making the same decision I did,’ she said.
‘Marrying for money might seem like an easy way out, but the cost is far greater than you realise.’
While she’s resigned to the choices she made, she says she would give anything to go back in time and do things differently.
‘I made my bed, and I have to lie in it. But I would never recommend this to anyone else.’
