Our government wastes money on some stupid stuff.
Now that I’ve made that staggeringly obvious statement, I’d hasten to note that there’s stupid, and then there’s ridiculous. We’re not talking shrimps on treadmills stupid. This week, we learned that, some years back, the CIA claimed to have evidence that there was once life on Mars – and not just life, mind you, but humanoid, pyramid-building life—a civilization. No Tharks, mind you, or banths, or thoats, or lovely Martian princesses clad only in jewels. No, these were just “very large people.”
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How did the CIA determine this? They sent some people to Mars in 1,000,000 BC – through the astral plane.
The report, ‘Mars Exploration May 22, 1984,’ details how the agency used astral projection—the idea that a person’s spirit can travel through the astral plane—to transport a ‘subject’ to Mars approximately one million years BC.
The study was part of Project Stargate, a secret US Army unit established in 1977 that focused on anomalous phenomena, including remote viewing, telepathy, and psychokinesis.
Participants were exposed to sounds like binaural beats and hemi-sync audio to induce altered states of consciousness and promote psychic abilities.
I can summarize this in three words: No, they didn’t. The “binaural beats” and “hemi-sync audio” may have induced hallucinations – because these people didn’t enter any astral plane. Why? Because there is no astral plane. This is the purest horse squeeze, utter drivel and goo, and your tax dollars funded it.
But wait! There’s more!
The experiment’s ‘subject’ was transported to the planet during the specified year, reporting an ‘oblique view of a pyramid’ and a ‘very large road’ with a monument similar to those known among ancient Egyptians on Earth, the report claims.
The vision then shifted to a population of ‘very large people’ searching for ‘a new place to live because their environment was corrupted.’
Let’s take this through in stages, shall we? Look at the claims:
The experiment’s ‘subject’ was transported to the planet during the specified year…
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No, they weren’t.
…reporting an ‘oblique view of a pyramid’ and a ‘very large road’ with a monument similar to those known among ancient Egyptians on Earth
No. There was no pyramid, no road, and no monument. Maybe they hallucinated them, but they were not real.
The vision then shifted to a population of ‘very large people’ searching for ‘a new place to live because their environment was corrupted.’
No. It didn’t. There were no “very large people.”
Fortunately, someone in Washington in 1995 had a sudden rush of brains to the head and this corral litter was shut down.
It shut down in 1995, but during its more than 10-year existence, psychics known as ‘remote viewers’ participated in a wide array of operations, from locating hostages kidnapped by Islamic terrorist groups to tracing the paths of fugitive criminals within the US.
And, of course, none of these “remote viewers” located any hostages or found any fugitive criminals. Any such results would be the result of mere coincidence because there is no such thing as “remote viewing.” None of this is real; Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Barsoom novels are every bit as real as this nonsense, and at least the Barsoom stories have the benefit of being entertaining; I re-read them once a year or so, and they never get old.
But Washington spent money on this, and rest assured, there is still federal spending on equally stupid stuff today.
See Related: Mysterious Monolith Manifests on Mountain Near Las Vegas, Authorities Strangely Incurious
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Are Aliens Living Among Us? Probably Not, but That Won’t Stop Researchers From Wasting Time Looking.
This, folks, is why we must always pay attention to government spending. There seems to be nothing so idiotic that some bureaucrat won’t try to get added to the federal budget. That’s never-ending; it’s a fundamental feature of government that, left unchecked, gets ever bigger, more expensive, and more intrusive.
And if, this holiday season, you find yourself in a conversation with someone who objects to the notion that the federal government is abominably wasteful, tell them about the time the CIA sent people back a million years to Mars via the astral plane. Because, yes, they tried to do that.
This seems appropriate.
