As I have revealed over the past two days in a life-changing new series, it is possible to tap into the power of your mind to manifest the things you really want.
What makes Power Manifesting different is that it’s not just about wishful thinking – it’s about using practical, down-to-earth psychological techniques to achieve the goals that will improve your life.
Today, in the final part, we will look at how to manifest love and transform relationships…
There is a beautiful concept in Greek mythology that says when you’re looking for love you’re actually searching for the other half of you.
That’s how I think of my relationship with Kate, my wife and my soulmate – she completes me.
And, actually, I manifested her bringing love into my life.
It’s been reported that I used an Excel spreadsheet to find Kate. That is not true as I don’t even know how to use Excel!
But I did use my brain to draw up an imaginary spreadsheet of my dream partner and at the top was Kate, who had been a part of my team for decades.
That’s when I realised that the woman I’d been looking for all my life was already in it.
At first I was gutted at the thought of two and a half decades of missed time together.
I spoke to an astrologer friend of mine just after we began dating and I confided that I felt devastated that we’d lost the potential of sharing so many years, but he said: ‘Paul, it would never have worked out before – it was all about timing. You both had to come to this point in your lives to be where you are now for love to happen.’
Today, in the final part of this life-changing series from my latest book, Power Manifesting – The New Science of Getting What You Want, I want to share with you how to manifest love into your life.
But first, you need to be able to open your heart to it.
This would, of course, be a great deal easier if none of us had a past.
Many of us have scars from being heartbroken, disappointed, or having suffered a betrayal or perhaps the loss of a loved one.
It’s important though to remember this: love has never hurt you. It’s when people are unloving towards us that we get hurt.
This is a very important distinction to get to grips with, as you can’t manifest something you are afraid of. If you say you want love, but it scares you, then you are less likely to get it.
LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
People often use the phrase: ‘To find true love, first you need to learn to love yourself.’
There is great truth in this saying – loving yourself really does open the door to love. But how do you actually go about doing that?
One quick and effective way to do this is to listen to your inner voice. To do this, find somewhere quiet to sit and place your hand on your heart.
Then take a deep breath and ask yourself how you can love or admire yourself more today.
See if you can find something practical that is a tangible way of doing that.
It could be slowing the pace of your day down, making sure you eat foods that love you, rather than foods that aren’t good for you.
Your inner voice might suggest you try not to rush through each day worrying only about others, without making time for your own wants and needs.
Try to make this a daily practice. Whatever answer your inner voice of wisdom offers, listen and act on it where you can.
RAISE YOUR EMOTIONAL FREQUENCY
We constantly emit a frequency based on our emotions.
Our state of mind and body is key to this.
For example, if you are angry or frightened, then you are transmitting on a low frequency.
But if you are in a state of love, happiness, joy and creativity – all the good stuff – you are transmitting on a high frequency.
The law of Sympathetic Resonance in music shows that if you have two pianos in the same room and you hit a C note on one of them, you will find that the C string on the other piano will start vibrating at the same rate. For people this equates to those on the same frequency gravitating towards each other.
So if you’ve ever wondered how it is that all the happy people seem to find each other, now you know. It’s all down to sympathetic resonance and frequency.
The frequency of someone who is angry or sad is different to the frequency of someone who is happy and optimistic so they are less likely to be drawn to each other. Try this simple exercise to raise your frequency.
- Close your eyes and imagine a cinema screen in front of you.
- Now imagine you are looking at a version of you that has a higher frequency; a you that is in a state of joy, peace, gratitude, kindness and optimism. Notice the expression on your face, your posture, the way you radiate happiness.
- Now, imagine floating into the screen and step into your higher-frequency self. See the world and life through your happier self. Hear your internal dialogue – kind, optimistic and reassuring – saying to yourself ‘all is well’ and feel how good this state of higher frequency feels.
- Next, notice where in your body you feel the best feelings and give the feelings a colour.
- Now imagine moving that colour up through your neck, into your head, down through your shoulders, arms and fingers. Move the colour down through your chest to your legs and then to the tips of your toes.
- Now double the brightness and intensity of the colour and then double it again.
- Now, imagine being surrounded by this colour and living in this higher frequency for the rest of the day.
- Imagine being surrounded by this colour every day and living in this higher frequency in every part of your life going forward.
TEN THINGS TO MAKE OR BREAK A RELATIONSHIP
The reason I was single for years is because I’d had my heart broken and so I was a commitment-phobe. I would tell myself, ‘I’m happily single’, even though a part of me did want to be happy in a relationship. I was just scared of the pain I associated with being in love.
For others, seeing how their parents interacted with each other when they were growing up serves as a training video.
They tend to copy the same relationship dynamics they witnessed as children and unconsciously repeat the same kind of patterns and mistakes over and over again.
With any relationship you enter into, these are the ten things that you should consider in order to make it healthy and functional:
- Communication – the first question you should ask of any relationship is: What is this person’s motivation? Are they seeking pleasure or are they seeking happiness? Happiness should come first.
- Invest time, effort and action – a healthy relationship is active and dynamic. It’s not just a happy ending.
- Self-care – you can only love someone functionally if you learn to love yourself. One of the big errors people make is to think of their partner but not themselves.
- Have a loving mindset – love can be understood in many different ways, but it includes giving your time and emotions. Even small acts of service, like making a cup of tea, help to build a relationship.
- Disagree healthily – some conflict over time is inevitable. It’s how you work together so both of you feel heard that counts. Rather than go straight to battle stations or passive-aggressive silent treatment, sometimes it’s OK to agree to disagree.
- Learn – we can constantly learn from each other, our environment and ourselves. Be open to this. Remember to also ask your partner: ‘What do you want or need in order for our relationship to flourish?’
- Have a vision of the future – the energy of a relationship flows best when it moves towards a destination that inspires us. This helps in hard times as well as good ones.
- Avoid personal criticism of your partner, including during conflict resolution. Instead of saying damaging things such as ‘You are so negative’ ask about their specific worries so that you can resolve differences without judgment.
- Pay attention to your partner – your attention is one of the most powerful gifts you have. It demonstrates your respect, helps you to understand them better and enables you to share deeper moments of intimacy.
- If you are in a relationship, return in your mind to some of the happiest times as if you are there again – reinforcing the positives. This helps you fall even more in love.
- Power Manifesting – The New Science Of Getting What You Want by Paul McKenna (Headline Welbeck Non-Fiction, £14.99). © Paul McKenna 2025. To order a copy for £13.49 (Offer valid to 25/01/25; UK P&P free on orders over £25) go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.
